


My Man Alone

by megyal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Possessive Behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-05
Updated: 2008-03-05
Packaged: 2017-10-23 09:07:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/248617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megyal/pseuds/megyal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Draco are mean to each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Man Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I was writing this for [](http://isinuyasha.livejournal.com/profile)[**isinuyasha**](http://isinuyasha.livejournal.com/), who requested a fic based on the song ["My Man is a Mean Man", by Stefanie Heinzmann](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezHVWXPeGBA&NR=1).

Harry Potter stalked into the Department of Magical Records, Reports and Accounts; people scattered like frantic schools of fish before a barracuda.

"Malfoy," Potter spat as he arrived in Draco's office. He slammed down a large folder of parchment and pressed his hands flat onto it, leaning ominously towards Draco over the long desk that had been brought in from the Manor; Draco thinned his lips and curled them into a sharp smile, something he practiced in the mirror every morning. "Malfoy, all these Offender files are incomprehensible now. I can't find a single thing with the new system you've implemented for the Aurors. On top of that, the Secrecy Charm you installed to scramble the text, the Unlocker word keeps changing!"

"Oh, it's quite simple," Draco said as sweetly as he could. "A _child_ could use the cross-referencing index and locate the document they desired. And that same child would recall that the Unlocker word will default to the next option if it's not given in the correct tone of voice by the right person."

"A demon-child, yeah," Potter gritted out. "I just have this _feeling_ you've deliberately fucked things up just to ruin my day. I have enough on my plate without you rearranging everything so I can't fucking find them!"

"Harry?" Granger stuck her head into Draco's office, and Potter spun around, his red Auror robes flaring up and settling down like an angry fire. "You can't be cursing in this office. Go curse somewhere else. You're making the staff nervous."

" _Thank_ you, Granger," Draco said smoothly and a tick formed in the side of Potter's jaw. "Apparently, _someone's_ new position has gone right to their head, since they've gotten a higher post, like… hmm, I don't know, _Head Auror_. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, you know how they say."

"Sometimes I wish Malfoy would just shut up," Potter complained to the world in general, head tilted back as if he was begging the ceiling for assistance. "He just talks and talks and I wish to _Merlin_ I could drag his tongue out of his head and _stomp_ on it."

"Harry! That's, that's awful, don't say that." Even Granger's _hair_ looked affronted 1 and Draco stifled a snide giggle.

"And the thing is, even if I _did_ take it out of his head," Potter continued. "It might just… keep going!" He turned back to Draco, who had his hands steepled in front of his face and was trying to channel old Dumbledore's manner of twinkling at everyone. The way Potter's face contorted on itself in rage, he _must_ have seemed infuriatingly kind.

"I will simplify the index so that even our intrepid Aurors will understand it," Draco said in his most syrupy, considerate voice. "I'll have to use a rock to test the efficiency of that system, so I can be _sure_ that your brave men and women may comprehend. I'll even adjust the Secrecy charm." He opened his eyes wide and batted his eyelashes. "For you, Potter! I do it all for you."

"You'd better do it soon," Potter threatened darkly. "Or I _will_ do awful things to your tongue."

"Promises, promises," Draco simpered. Potter made a sound of disgust and turned to march out; he turned back as Draco's voice stopped him. "Oh, and Potter? For dinner tonight, would you like chicken or lamb?"

"Fish," Potter said spitefully, because he _knew_ there was no fish in their house; and as much as Draco liked to boast that he was a marvellous cook, he hated to prepare fish. Draco would never back down from a challenge, though. Potter didn't even like fish, anyway, but Draco shrugged. "I would like fish."

"Later, darling!" Draco called as Potter stalked away. He snickered to himself as he gathered his own files into neat piles, and looked up, blinking as Granger frowned at him.

"Yes?" Draco said as politely as he dared. There was a weighty pause, and Draco struggled against gritting his teeth.

"Look, Malfoy," she said with the desperate determination of a person questioning the riddle of a Sphinx. "I know we're not exactly _close_ \--"

"Your way with understatements has never failed to astound me, Granger," Draco told her with gravely.

"-- _but_ ," Granger struggled on in the face of his glare, she truly _was_ a Gryffindor, "but, _how_ can you treat each other like that every day? You're so… so _mean_ to each other!"

Draco's expression went slit-eyed. "I can do what I wish. He's _mine_ , according to the Ministry's Statutes on Accidental Bonds and Nuptials. Mine alone."

"I don't understand," Granger said in a small voice as their subordinates took the opportunity to slide out for lunch; Draco felt a slice of pity for her, he did. She just didn't get it, poor frizzy-haired thing. "You're all mad, I think."

"This is what I keep telling you," Weasley said darkly from the door of their office, adjusting the bright orange robes of the Department of Magical Games and Sports. Draco flinched at the clash of ginger. "But no, not a soul listens to Ron. Come away, Herm, before you catch any of the crazy."

Draco waggled his fingers at them as Weasley took his wife by the arm and led her off to lunch, throwing suspicious glowers over his shoulder until they exited. Draco hummed to himself and plucked the file for the Potions labs, pondering new Scrambling codes. His mental-processes were _so_ much clearer after bracing arguments with a blustering Potter, he thought contentedly and then got to work.

:: ::

Narcissa Malfoy poured tea out for her only son, who thanked her before taking a sip. Draco smiled in delight, a soft wind playing in their hair as they sat in the atrium.

"Oh, the Bavarian honey is wonderful in this blend, Mother," he assured her and she gave him a kindly blink of her eyes; the Nerve Paralyses charm that the Cosmetic Mediwizard had placed on her facial muscles was still in full-effect. Her face was like a smooth, ivory mask. "Mmm, delicious."

"Yes, quite," she said through tight lips. "Draco, is it not your first anniversary today?"

His father made a disparaging sound from behind his opened paper; Draco and Narcissa ignored him.

"Pity Potter won't let us have an anniversary fete here, I had _such_ a wonderful theme that we could use."

"He swears that he will never set foot in Malfoy Manor as long as Father is alive." Draco tapped his lips with one long finger, trying to decide between a biscuit and a chocolate. "Bad memories, la-di-dah, he has a memory like an elephant, really, and most of his grudges are more permanent than tattoos. Sometimes I wish he'd remember to hang his robes as much as he recalls how I treated him in school. But otherwise, I find him very entertaining!" Draco popped a coconut-filled chocolate in his mouth and hummed in pleasure.

"I wish I could give you money and you'd just leave him," Lucius said in silky desperation, shaking his paper in agitation. "I _know_ you have to stay bonded to that oaf, but this affectionate act is just to cause me stress and leave me a broken man. Draco, sometimes you go too far."

"But, Father, I _do_ love him!" Draco cried dramatically, and Lucius shuddered. "His messy locks are like the petals of a black rose against my hand. His eyes are emerald pools into which I drown. And his delectable lips wrap around my--"

" _A broken man_ ," Lucius enunciated and then froze. After a few moments of Draco and Narcissa staring at him in puzzlement, he threw down his copy of _The Prophet_ onto the glass surface of the low table with a cold smile. "Your 'black rose', Draco? Perhaps it is time for a pruning."

The Head Auror of the DMLE was in the middle of the paper, in huge black-and-white glory. The Head Auror that Draco had been bonded to for the past year, due a catastrophic charm had been cast by an inept former Death Eater. A cousin of the Carrows, who had kidnapped Draco in an eager attempt to raise the Dark Lord once again (once _again_ , weren't these fools tired of him by now?) and had captured a careless Auror Potter who had been on an unwilling rescue mission.

Blood had been spilt, Latin had been intoned and instead of a spell to pull any memory trace from Potter's scar and recreate a full corporeal spirit-copy in Draco's flesh, it had been a spell to bind them. Draco had _warned_ that fool that it was a stupid idea anyway, he had; but apparently his voice had been so aggravating that even Potter had been grateful when Cousin Carrow had placed a disgusting rag over his mouth.

This Head Auror, who had reluctantly agreed to stay bonded (or they would wither away, people kept _forgetting_ that part and Draco thought withered wasn't a good look for him, not at all), _this Head Auror_ was standing close to that girl Weasley in some sort of pub, as far as the Wizarding picture showed, talking right into her ear as her freckled arms wrapped around his neck.

Draco gawked down at the photograph, watching as Ginny Weasley pulled back to look up in Potter's face, her smile small yet sincere, before pulling him close again for a tight hug. _LOVE, DEFERRED_ the title of the article noted sadly and Draco stuffed two biscuits in his mouth, knowing he would blab something foolish otherwise.

Lucius _tut-tutted_ and looked relieved at the same time.

"You see? You don't have to live as a married couple anymore, Draco. The accidental bond means that you'll have to be in physical contact with that Gryffindor for a few moments each week, but here's your opportunity to--"

"I beg your leave, Father," Draco muttered. "But I have a vial of poison to lace into some fish fillet at home. Mother, remember we have to visit that new antiques' shoppe tomorrow."

"Yes, dear," Narcissa murmured, and they both watched as Draco Disapparated in such agitation, that the _pop_ was almost deafening. Lucius stared at his wife, who twitched her eyebrows fluently and sipped her tea.

:: ::

As soon as Harry stumbled half-drunkenly into the large flat he and Draco shared, his nose and Draco's fist united in quite a nasty manner.

"You fucking berk!" Harry yelled as he collapsed on the floor with his hands cupped over his face and Draco dived down after him. "Are you insane, what did you do that for?!"

Harry had been drinking with his mates, so his reflexes were a bit slow as Draco bit and kicked at him. He finally managed to roll them both over and straddle Draco, literally sitting on him and pinning those fine-boned hands on each side of his unusually untamed blond head, grey eyes staring wildly up at Harry's bloodied face.

"You're on drugs," Harry thought out loud, wanting to wipe the blood away and seeming coldly satisfied that a droplet bloomed red on Draco's crisp white shirt. "You must be on _something_ to just hit me like that as soon as I get in. God, Malfoy."

"I'll tear your fucking head off, you cheating piece of shit," Draco spat. " _No one_ cheats on a Malfoy and gets away with it."

"You're snorting something," Harry concluded. "You don't like needles, you wouldn't inject yourself with anything, so I'm thinking you must be snorting some insane shit."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Draco hissed, "but I know that the next time I find about you and the Weaslette, I'll hex you so that your balls will seek refuge in your damned _chest_."

Harry stared down at him for a long, shocked minute, his eyes wide as his stupid nose kept dripping blood onto Draco's shirt, his hair sticking up from where Draco had tried to yank it out of his head.

"I hate you," Potter hissed at him and Draco curled his lips in scorn. "I hate you for aggravating me all the fucking time, I hate you for getting us bonded together in the first place--"

"That wasn't my fault!"

"--and I _hate_ you for making me want to be around you," Potter continued loudly. Draco blinked. "Even _after_ you talk so much that my ears ring, even _after_ you suck me off until I almost come and _not finish_ , I hate when you do that, you _shit_ … and even _after_ you hit me for doing nothing but congratulating Ginny on her engagement to Dean." He gave Draco an exasperated shake, but Draco was busy gaping up at him. "I must be on drugs too. Either that, or I'm going mad."

He released Draco's hands and sat back, glaring down at him before getting up and heading to the bathroom, dragging his robes over his head and letting them fall to the floor. Draco remained on the carpet for a few moments before scrambling up after his husband.

He banged open the door before Harry could close it in his face. "Don't think _you're_ all fun and games, Potter." He pulled out his wand and cast an angry _Episkey_ on Harry's nose; it caused those green eyes to cross and he had to undo it and try again. "You come home late in order to not talk with me, don't think I don't know that, you slick _bastard_ , your friends want curse me or befriend me, I'm not sure which is worse… you're always an ogre to me at work, everyone says you're such a darling when you're not around me, pity they don't know that you're such a complete beast under that charming smile. AND! And you barely want to cuddle after a fuck. _Everyone_ likes a cuddle now and again, Potter!"

Harry stared at him and then leaned back against the sink, letting out peals of helpless laughter. He laughed until tears streamed out of his eyes and he had to clutch his sides as he wheezed his way through another bout. Draco bit his lip so he wouldn't smile; Harry's face was completely different when he laughed. Whatever frown lines that existed because of his job were completely wiped away and he looked like a carefree teenager.

As Harry's laughter began to die down, Draco stepped forward and grabbed onto his shoulders, dragging him forward for a kiss. Harry clutched onto his shirt as they pressed close together, a moan escaping from his throat to be savoured by Draco's sly tongue.

"Accidental Nuptial or not, you're mine, Potter," Draco growled against his mouth as he pressed his hips into Harry's. "Only mine. Since the first time I saw you on that train."

"You'll never let that go, will you?!" Harry exclaimed, but he looked very pleased, in a surprised sort of way. His eyes were large and so very green and Draco could hardly help but kiss him roughly again while dragging him to bed.

:: ::

Draco sang softly along with that new song from the Owls, something about _a man like you, with that big big wand_ , tapping his foot in the lift. He blithely ignored the wide-eyed stares of the other occupants, until Granger cleared her throat delicately.

"Malfoy?"

"Hmm? I love this part, Granger, don't interrupt. _That big big wand, just work your magic on me-eee_."

"Er," Granger cringed. "It's just. Were you in a fight last night? Your neck looks… mauled."

"Oh, that!" Draco tugged down his scarf a little further, looking smug. Everyone else winced; Weasely appeared ill. "Apparently, I have a mean, _mean_ man."

**Author's Note:**

> Line attributed to [](http://ficsoreal.livejournal.com/profile)[**ficsoreal**](http://ficsoreal.livejournal.com/)


End file.
